Monday, July 19, 2010

Yup, they really do hate you

Found this little web series on Youtube and although most of them are kind of lame and I know that we creative minds at The Server Report could have done our own series and killed it, there are definitely a few gems in the series. I'm going to be posting some of my favs and also the clips I believe would be most helpful for you, the public. Watch and take notes, please.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Monday, January 25, 2010

Saturday, January 9, 2010

HEY!!!!



Don't be one of these when you decide to not make a reservation and show up during "prime time dinner time" expecting to get a nice big table in whatever section of the restaurant you want! Take what you can get.


oh and ps: the music isn't "too loud"-you're just old and bitter.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

ummm



please note image above....ok, now see how there is no "X" in the word ESPRESSO? Cool, well then please stop pronouncing it "Exspresso." You may be a an a-hole with a ton of money, but now you look like a retarded a-hole with a ton of money.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Gettin' Some Dinner With Mah Gurlzz



















What the fuck? Why are women so clueless when they go out in a group to get dinner? It's like not only do their menstrual cycles synchronize but also their brains synch up to this wave of consciousness where they are going to try to substitute everything they can possibly think of and make every special request in the world and complain about the amount of carbonation in their Diet Coke refills and want the salad dressing on the side and split the check 6 ways and then think that if they each leave 3% than that will somehow work out to 18% when I add their tips together...

Sorry that 95% of the time that you go out to dinner you are making some man pay for you and therefore you have no fucking idea on how to tip or do math or be polite because it's girls night and you guys are going to complain that your glass of Prosecco isn't filled to the brim and why are you wearing bell bottoms???

Big shout out to the 3 sweet ladies that ordered the bottle of Muscadet at my suggestion and tipped over 20% and were human beings. It's nice to know that there is a balance in the Universe.

I'm drunk.

Monday, November 23, 2009

"Something must be going around"

Why is it that whenever flu season hits people decide to celebrate by going to dinner or out for drinks? The other night at work 75 percent of every customer was coughing, sneezing and looked like complete dog crap. No joke, I even had a 6 top of all middle aged women who I am pretty sure only came out because they were all sick and wanted to talk about it seeing as how that was the topic of discussion the entire duration of their stay (probably college professors bc the tip sucked). I don't get it, then it's these same people who say things like "well everyone's got it"-yeah no shit, because people like them decided to hit the streets like it's St. Patrick's day. I know I work in a setting where I'm around a lot of people but I also know that when I'm sick I take care of myself and stay home and oh I don't know what the kids are calling it these days "get better." It's ridiculous. Some of us have families we go home to at night with little kids that shouldn't get sick but ultimately do because drinking at bars and going out to dinner is more important than not spreading your shitty cold.

Do yourself a favor along with everyone who works in this industry-stay home, take some vitamins, drink some water or tea and go to sleep, your birthday margarita or over cooked strip steak will still be waiting for you when your all better.

cheers.